Congratulations, Republicans! The Texas Capitol Is Now a Minimum-Security Prison.
After years of shouting about “limited government,” “personal freedom,” and “tyranny,” Texas Republicans have finally decided to embrace their inner Big Brother. Turns out the best way to stop democracy from working is to treat your Democratic colleagues like middle schoolers on a field trip.
Here’s the scene: Texas Democrats ended their walkout over gerrymandering by returning to Austin on Monday, only to be greeted by law enforcement officers shadowing their every move. Not because they committed a crime (unless “standing in the way of Donald Trump’s racist House maps” now qualifies as felony obstruction). No, they were assigned babysitters by the GOP so they wouldn’t dare leave again.
And this wasn’t subtle. Republicans forced Democrats to sign what the lawmakers described as “permission slips,” literal agreements to be under 24/7 surveillance by DPS officers. Rep. Mihaela Plesa, who represents suburban Dallas, said her officer followed her everywhere: to lunch, to her office couch, even on her drive home. Oh, and don’t worry, an officer even walked with her down the hallway for restroom breaks.
Rep. Nicole Collier of Fort Worth wasn’t having it. She flat-out refused to sign, saying she wouldn’t “sign away my dignity” so Republicans could micromanage her bathroom schedule. She was forced to camp out overnight on the House floor after being locked inside. Protesters who showed up to support Collier’s defiance were arrested outside the chamber. And needless to say it’s not a great look for a state with a history of voter discrimination to pull stuff like this — particularly when the maps themselves blatantly disenfranchise millions of Black Texans.
Why all the theatrics? Because Trump wants more Republicans in the U.S. House. That’s it. Gov. Abbott and his loyal majority are falling over themselves to deliver a map that will send five more GOP seats to Washington. Democrats already hold just 13 of Texas’ 38 House districts, but apparently that’s not lopsided enough.
Lots of national Dems rallied to Collier’s side. Former U.S. Rep. Beto O’Rourke called her a “true hero” who is “fighting these fascists.”
U.S. Rep. Jasmine Crockett, also a frequent target of the deranged right, wrote: “Forcing elected officials to sign ‘permission slips’ and take police escorts to leave? That’s not procedure. That’s some old Jim Crow playbook.”
We’ve been here before. Texas Dems walked out in 2021 to protest restrictive voting laws. And in 2003, more than 50 House Democrats fled Texas to block a GOP redistricting plan — much like today’s standoff. They holed up for a week in Oklahoma, long enough to run out the clock on the legislative deadline.
The victory was short-lived. Then-Gov. Rick Perry kept calling special sessions, prompting more Democratic walkouts. He even dispatched law enforcement to chase them to the state line. After a month, one Democrat broke ranks and returned, restoring quorum. The redistricting plan eventually passed in a third special session.
Which brings us back to today. Instead of debating fair representation, Texas is spending taxpayer dollars on human ankle monitors with badges. Troopers have been assigned to stake out Democratic offices, trail them through the hallways, and, if necessary, escort them into the House chamber like misbehaving kindergartners being dragged back to math class.
This is authoritarian cosplay.
Republicans love to brand themselves as guardians of liberty, but right now they’re running the Legislature like a parole board. (Except, the Democrats haven’t even committed any crimes.)
Meanwhile, Democrats are pointing out the obvious: This is a colossal waste of money. Just looking for the quorum-breakers — who were pretty easy to find, considering they were holding televised press conferences — cost the state six figures over the past two weeks, according to Rep. Dustin Burrows, the Speaker of the House. Plesa called it “performative theater.” Which is generous. Theater at least requires some skill. This is more like a community college improv class where everyone’s playing “cop tailing a state rep” and nobody knows the scene is supposed to end.
And here’s the kicker: All this surveillance and chest-thumping isn’t even about passing legislation that helps Texans. It’s not flood relief, not healthcare, not education. No, the Republicans’ top priority is satisfying Trump’s demand for a redistricting map that rigs Congress in their favor. Texans flooded out of their homes? Sorry. We’ll get to you right after we redraw a district line through some minority neighborhoods.
Republicans like Rep. Matt Shaheen keep saying, “We aren’t playing around.” Yeah, no kidding. They’ve gone from voter suppression to legislator suppression, turning the Capitol into a minimum-security prison instead of a democracy. What’s next? Curfews? Random locker checks? Maybe ankle monitors that buzz if a Democrat gets within five miles of an airport?
Texas: Where the GOP insists on small government if you want healthcare or decent schools, but they’ll assign you a full-time government chaperone for your lunch break.
