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# Everything’s Bigger in Texas. Even the Red Flags.
- URL: https://www.thebarbedwire.com/dating-austin-red-flags/
- Published: 2025-02-17T06:01:00.000Z
- Updated: 2025-02-17T06:01:00.000Z
- Author: Val Brains
- Tags: Culture, Perspectives, Austin, Love Texas

First, I’d like to say that I love men.

Many of my close friends are men, I pursue romance with men, and I intend to keep doing so.

But I’d *also* like to say that the level of emotional immaturity and lack of self knowledge we permit in them is unacceptable. While I don’t have a solution for that besides 10 years of mandatory quality therapy, in the near-term it’s still up to women to do the dating detective work.

Here are five phrases that should send you running if you hear them from a man you're dating (and please don’t ask how I acquired this hard-won wisdom). And yes, this is written from a hetero cis female perspective — because that's what I am — but the insights apply broadly.

![](https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXd-gEdfvk90kQ9DexoVhwsfA3r80A8j0B2NQKzvngwiO0NOqTyH4E8-fg_pUqy_Lf_ykMLe5_LYg9J6U16NXbMiu2NiMJYBwha-XQSOzlYm3_sw7xzXHHm42I_JzCXf2UeHzboufw?key=LvBLgMdxoXD0x4BGLRQyI_cD)

![](https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXfsVOULAEIoSpC4NDJ2iDAIl6H3RcC5Uu5Rn7zDzK5OpR7axZ1f-Gt0NjAcH2gmsdQq3Q7f0SVeSsK5-b1egkxwS7KLN6kTkvMd371_esXgThxxlx_-ER36PWjnnL0w1kKuKNqPZw?key=LvBLgMdxoXD0x4BGLRQyI_cD)

![](https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXfxKD3Ta2qWp4P8kJ1IVm_GoffvEB2D46SXxbVGkj2Qq40n1QRL_PZdlRfqzAhAABBCAbyazj4vhu7wTas_zSymCl4gkPzKE2PsLPqufbF7r3DALbNbvn5IoWHQ-expPms6y6qDKg?key=LvBLgMdxoXD0x4BGLRQyI_cD)

![](https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXdEkAevIAU1Tseesk60t5ngC5R2M-_5CKehDv0mQ-r_xpTcUNBEgL75N7qCx7hMb0_1OAIbKeN1ISBfZUU_6RyDbEf-TXXapedU1eXL9SwDexl6YbGSH3eSAwxRNCDy9Vq8qdLJ?key=LvBLgMdxoXD0x4BGLRQyI_cD)

![](https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXe_pC3nhwWWv7DkE98Z5FogeucHsZUbthZRnOxKsKHZuQeNm45nxL0mQEp7s10Y9428SgEMuCc3lc2RWupE6T9OaFOA9R7OM9arzVKmqNyqHIVBJQEFRNL_VEd6eNMOSvkr9KXnEw?key=LvBLgMdxoXD0x4BGLRQyI_cD)

![](https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXfZaGwsPqOD_17OeimVXZpNEAiaT8HUkP1Q5JE6R_WbB87tPbneIDKE5IHJNXW91zdp3XvOr9OdpyVfdSSK90A2oFhJBZchVEU3_qSDyw1NC3HmzvWDIGsGISwOXClshhACKjKSlQ?key=LvBLgMdxoXD0x4BGLRQyI_cD)